Mirror

The other night I was watching a video from a well known female minister and I was feeling very insecure and felt as if I do not match up. I love to hear the stories of how God blesses people it is so uplifting but being real it can make me at times feel not "GOOD ENOUGH" As I watched and listened to her tell of her God encounter I felt a pang of jealous hit..

I started whining and telling the Lord how come all these people have this type of encounter with you? Why can't that happen in my life your word says that you are no respecter of persons. By then I was feeling very insecure just like a child arguing with her Daddy. After several minutes of my debate as I listened on my self esteem just hit an all time low.and I began to see myself in  negative way so I began to tell the Lord WELL I would not be good at it anyways.

I do not have the eduction some of these women have I don't have the clothes accessories they have and I do not look as attractive as some are I am just me growing old alone BUT gracefully ;) I just went on and on with what I was not good enough to do even to write this blog. This blog is thoughts that I  leave so I can glean from them as I minister. I read so many blogs of people who can write so intelligently and I feel as if I just ramble but it is from the heart not trying to win any awards some who read this may celebrate with me and some probably think she is one crazy granny lol If God did not say it to me or show me in a vision then I sure not going to say he did because we all are going to answer to him..

So I was really down and feeling so insecure in myself  I did the only thing I know to do in bad times,sad times and in blue times I pray.. As I sat in his presence I began to see what I call a pocketbook or a purse or a tote or a satchel in  the spirit it was large and  was a brown trim with beautiful turquoise  sections the shoulder strap was wide and it sat on like a show case pedestal.and the Lord said go look inside so I went over and opened it and inside was a round silver trimmed  mirror. He said look  dreading to see myself I looked in the mirror and let out a sob what I saw was Jesus face and all that matters is I am dead to myself and alive in him! Oh how I Love You Jesus...The only opinion that should matter is what The Lord thinks of me and I can do "All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me"